I'm not good.

 

I'm not good 

Directed by Tania Tahir

ABOUT AUTHOR

Tania Tahir is a social media writer. She write on different social aspects. She have been writing for 4 years on Facebook , different blogs and digests. She was born and raised in Multan (Pakistan). Tania is hardworking driven and fearless. She is very communicative, detail_ oriented and versatile writer. She is very knowledgeable in her field and very meticulous in my work . She also like to keep things very Professional .  

Tania mostly like to write about women strength and she is mature person . She knows about social values

Story 

I used to go to college

My mother did not have the expenses to go to college. I told my mother many times that I will not take admission in the college because after my father's death, my mother's disposable income is just enough for both of us to eat bread.

My uncle used to help but my mother didn't believe and she said that you will study and do a very good job after reading and writing then I won't need to ask anything from anyone but where did we have so many resources that I You can get a good job by studying well.

I belonged to a middle class family, my father was the youngest among his siblings, so my father lived with his elder brother, my elder aunt, and the younger aunt's house was right next to ours. I was the only child of my parents. The daughter was the most cherished of her father. One day when I came home from school, my father's health suddenly deteriorated and his sudden death was a serious shock for me. There is only one person who got me out of this shock, she used to smile to make me happy, she used to cook for me my favorite food.

Time went on at its own pace.

My school was completed and now I had to take admission in college but because of the high cost I refused to take admission but my mother said you will study well and also get a job because she will enable me. I wanted to become something when I grow up and be able to do something for them and myself. My mother asked to talk to Taya ji for my admission, so I hugged her. She was my idol for me, she was ready to do everything for my happiness, she used to stand in front of me as my shield.

At night time, when Tayaji came home, my mother left asking me to talk to her.

As our portion was upstairs, my mother went downstairs and I lay in the upstairs room and waited for them

Tayaji had two sons, both of them were often out of the house in connection with business. Tai's health was bad, so she took medicine and went to sleep early, so my mother used to feed my Taya. I used to fall asleep while waiting and even today my eyes fell. When I woke up in the morning, my mother was not with me. I woke up worried and came downstairs. She was cooking breakfast for everyone in the kitchen. She took care of everyone. She spoke to everyone with love and respect. She loved less, she was so good.

When I came to my mother, she told me that Taya has agreed to get me admitted in college, so now I can study further in college. I was very happy at the same time Taya ji will also come to the kitchen, seeing me happy, she also smiled and put her hand on my head, I hugged her spontaneously, I thanked her and ran upstairs, while my Taya and my Mother was left alone in the kitchen.

Now I used to go to college every day, tired of studying all day and slept early at night. Tai Jan's health was not good these days, so every day all the guests would come to the house. I had a paternal uncle who used to visit often and my paternal uncle had a strong disagreement with him because my paternal uncle would often ask my mother to leave his paternal aunt's house and my paternal uncle would get angry that I was his brother's wife. And I will not let my daughter go, so I felt more love for my aunt and my mother that they fight for me and I started to get annoyed with my uncle. If she saw it, she would have sat down to explain to me that I should obey my mother to leave this house. But then where did I understand this?

After some time, Tai Jan also died, so everyone started asking my mother to leave this house. I didn't know why everyone was doing this, but my mother used to cry secretly, which I couldn't bear. It used to happen and then one day I screamed and I said so much that they all slowly left us. . How I used to see tears in my mother's eyes and that day. No one came to our house after that day. Sometimes Tayaji's sons would come. Tayaji would go to the workshop in the morning and come back at night. Most of my time was spent in studies and I could not spend much time with my mother.

One day suddenly I opened my eyes in the night and I didn't find my mother near me so I got up worried I came down looking for mother then I saw mother going to Taya ji's room then I was surprised I That's when I called my mother and she came out of the room panicking. I asked her what she was going to do in Taya's room. She. She is not well. Son, that's why I heard her voice and came downstairs. But how did you wake up? Your health is fine. Why was my heart afraid? Even after my mother came upstairs, I could not sleep and the next day I took leave from the college.

And today I went to my little aunt's house to meet my cousins, my uncle was also there. As soon as I came, everyone became silent. I asked my cousin to drink water and came out of the room and hid in the kitchen door. They were all talking about Taya and mother and then I After hearing that, I felt that my soul had left my body, tears started flowing from my eyes, I could not control myself, so I ran back to my house and locked myself in my room. Where is mom what are you doing I was just lost in what I heard 

That my mother had given all the property of my father to the name of my aunt, she was very beautiful, while my father was less than her but he was a good and very good-mannered man, but was my mother's hand behind his death? Hold your head. I ... I couldn't believe that a trust, a precious companion, a relationship, a friend, love, was nothing that was broken. I held my hair tightly in my hands. I missed my baba a lot though when this mother was there I hardly missed him and today 

I didn't know when I fell asleep crying, when I opened my eyes, I was very sensitive to heat, I was lying there staring at the ceiling, I was having a fever and it was the first time that my mother was not with me. They will not even know when I came home. After some time, I started hearing voices from below 

When I came down, maybe my mother had come from outside, although she never went out alone like this, my mother saw me, ran to me and held my face with concern and started checking my fever for her concern and love. My eyes filled up my heart said what you thought was wrong my mother can't do that and I started crying hugging my mother she also held me close and when I got tired of crying I was silent While she started making my favorite food for me, I also wanted to forget everything and spend time with her, then I promised myself not to think about these things.

Due to excessive crying and fever, I slept early in the night. When I opened my eyes in the morning, my mother was not with me. I got up and came downstairs. I didn't like it at all for my mother to dress like this in front of Taya, so I thought that I asked my mother to take back her share from Taya and we stayed separately in our house. My Taya made me stand like this. When I saw him, I called him to him. I don't know why I was confused by his sight, even though this had never happened before. I sat at a distance from him.

After some time, Taya left the house and I saw my mother who was eating breakfast with her dupatta off her head. I had never seen my mother in front of such a person.

Mother .... I thought something and spoke. Now we didn't stay with Taya, we stayed in our house, hearing my words, my mother's face changed color. And they scolded me that where in the world did I go with you, here is your mother who loves you and cares for us too. After hearing my mother's words, I became silent that today my mother loved the love of others more than my love. I got up and came upstairs.

The whole day passed like this. Aunty had come home. Today, my mother came up early, but before I came to her room, I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep. It took some time for my mother to come upstairs and when she realized that I had fallen asleep, she went down again and closed the door of the room.

I sat up and did not understand what to do. When I came down, I saw mother taking tea to Taya's room, I secretly hid behind the window of the room, from here I could hear her clear voices.

Rashid, today my daughter told me to leave this house. I think she has suspected us. It was my mother's voice. I put my hand on my mouth in surprise. Nothing is happening, girl, I don't understand, it will get better with time, there is no need to worry about it and it was my aunt's voice, why are you sitting so far away, come here. My uncle was calling my mother, tears started coming from my eyes.

Only because of you and because of love, I demanded divorce from my husband due to which he had a heart attack and he died and then your wife died the same way but my daughter Rashid. I don't want to take him away from myself, nor do I ever want to go away from you, so every night is yours.

I didn't hear any more from me, so I closed the window curtains and I saw my mother's hands were in my aunt's hands and then I felt myself hanging in the air.

I stood still and watched, they both couldn't see me.

"Mom," she staggered up from Taya's side

While both Taya and Meri's faces were covered in color.

I kept looking at both of them with shocked and worried eyes, what was all this, i.e. the people who were talking and gossiping about them was true, my mother killed my father because of Taya.

My eyes were incredulous.

I ran back upstairs. And then I didn't know where I had to go, but if I had spent one more minute in this house, I might have committed suicide 

My mother ran to me and tried to make me sleep, but I didn't listen. Decided to leave this house

And that day I learned that what we consider to be very precious and very pure is not necessarily the same.

And I thought he could lie. While I did not see my mother, people saw that while I was being washed, they said it is nothing like that.

The end....

There are many more stories of Tania Tahir which are available on the same website and many successful stories she has written very beautifully, reading which you will feel your emotions mixed with these characters